The Laws Of Life

> The Laws of Life-----

> & Law of Mechanical Repair
> After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you'll have to pee.
>
> & Law of Gravity
> Any object, when dropped, will roll, slide or bounce to the least
accessible corner.
>
> & Law of Probability
> The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.
>
> & Law of Random Numbers
> If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone
always answers.
>
> & Law of the Alibi
> If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
>
> & Variation Law
> If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always
move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
>
> & Law of the Bath
> When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
>
> & Law of Close Encounters
> The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
>
> & Law of the Result
> When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
>
> & Law of Biomechanics
> The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
>
> & Law of the Theater
> At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
arrive last.
>
> & The Starbucks Law
> As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask
you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
>
> & Murphy's Law of Lockers
> If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.
>
> & Law of Physical Surfaces
> The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.
>
> & Law of Logical Argument
> Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
>
> & Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
> If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
>
> & Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
> As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop
making it.
>
> & Doctors' Law
> If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the
time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and
you'll stay sick.